Paragraph building for IELTS Writing Task 2 – writing a simple paragraph from a plan
Paragraph building for IELTS Writing Task 2 - converting a plan into a paragraph about staff uniforms
In the video below, I convert the plan from the previous post into a simple paragraph that will not get a high band score.
This is the second in a series of four posts, as follows
- Brainstorming - here
- Writing a simple paragraph that won't get a high band score - this post
- Creating a high band score paragraph here
- Explaining a high band score paragraph here
See if you can write your own paragraph before you see mine. See the plan here
Try to fix the problems mentioned in the video - you can find the text in the video description.
In the third video I convert this simple paragraph into a high band score one. See here
Let me know what you think - leave a comment below.
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thanks for very well written article. I really enjoyed that. but there is a question here. so many websites are trying to say that we should write in a more complicated way to have better scores.
what do you think? should we be more simple but to the point than being off topic with having complexity?
The video on this page creates a simple paragraph which will not get a high band score. The biggest problem with it is the mechanical use of cohesive devices. In the next post – here – , I take this paragraph and convert it into a high band score one.
So to answer your question – yes, you need some complex structures
It is undeniable that having uniform for employees is beneficial for the companies because it could help to have clear identification of their personnel and also to promote their brand. With regard to the former, uniform makes it easy to identify and to distinguish their staff from customers. As a result of this, they could avoid some confusing situations which may lead to reduce service quality and service satisfaction. Turning to the advantages for branding, by having logo and specific color in uniform, it promotes the company’s image and that many people could get familiar with it. It also can… Read more »
Pretty good, Anh Thu
Be careful with plurals – uniform should be plural
Contribute to + gerund
lead to + noun
through its appearance in any when their staff ???
It’s awesome,Tony! It helps me a lot. I’m looking forward to your new video about creating a high band score.