Writing Task 1 Model Answer 

Vietnamese Student Numbers

16 Comments

  1. Divya on 14th April 2016 at 6:31 pm

    Thanku tony

    • Tony on 28th April 2016 at 8:05 am

      You’re welcome

  2. doc on 5th May 2016 at 10:57 pm

    Dear tony can you please comment on the essay

    The bar chart illustrates the total number of students from Vietnam who studied in three different countries, US, Australia and the UK over a period of 12 years from 200 to 2012

    Overall, the numbers of Vietnamese students studying in the UK and Australia increased in the given period, whereas for the US it fluctuated.

    In the start of period, around 10,000 students from Vietnam studied both in United States and Australia, while just under 5000 students opted for America. The trend of Vietnamese students going abroad to the the UK and Australia showed a gradually increasing trend before becoming the most popular overseas location for studies at approximately 22,000 and 23,000 respectively, in 2012.

    With regards to US, it remained the least popular country to be visited by Vietnamese students.while just under 5000 students enrolled for courses in the US in 2000, this number rose steadily before reaching to its highest figure of around 12,000 in 2008, after which it showed a slight fall to 10,000 at the end of period.

    • Tony on 6th May 2016 at 1:13 pm

      Hi Khan

      Good answer. Just be careful with your punctuation – the “while” in the final paragraph should be a new sentence.

      Tony

  3. Mia on 8th October 2016 at 3:36 pm

    is the word ‘distribution’ correct instead of ‘popularity’?

  4. Mia on 8th October 2016 at 7:52 pm

    Could you please explain why the explanation has ended in “past perfect tense”, why not continued in simple past tense?
    if it was in the latter tense,is it wrong?

    Can it be mentioned in introduction that “the comparison is done every alterante year over a-12 year-period,from 2000 to 2012.”
    thanks
    Mia recently posted…Anki for IELTS – Watch me showing a student how to use Anki to learn some modal verbsMy Profile

  5. Doc on 9th October 2016 at 12:52 am

    Dear Tony,

    I got my required band. Overall 7.5. My weakest point was writing and I followed initially Liz and then got address of your website from her. I think your way of teaching writing is exceptional, simple yet very effective. I got 7.5 in writing. Could not believe I did that. I m thankful to you.

  6. Tatiana on 12th December 2016 at 6:34 pm

    Dear Tony,

    Thank you for your useful site. However i am confused. In various sites i have read that it is necessary to mention trends also. So overall paragraph should include
    1. the highest , the lowest
    2. trends – increasing, decreasing.

    So my introduction would be like:
    Overall, both UK and Australia were the most popular countries for V students for study while US was the least popular thought the whole period. In addition, there was an obvious growth in number of students in all countries over this twelve-year period OR all countries experienced a growth in student numbers …..”

    Please kindly correct me if i am wrong, I am trying to get my 8 but still struggling…But if i am not mistaken you gave this example as 7 band assay, so probably mine for 8 should be more complicated..

    Thank you in advance

    • Tony on 13th December 2016 at 6:34 am

      Hi Tatiana

      For a clear overview, I mention the trends and the largest / highest. Sometimes I mention the lowest, but it depends on the question. It would definitely be ok to mention the fact that numbers to the US peaked.

      With regard to your overview, there are some problems
      > you missed the articles from the US and the UK. You can’t get an 8 for GRA if you have “systematic” errors, and missing articles would definitely count as systematic.
      > for study is wrong. To study is better, but it can be omitted
      > growth is non-countable, so it shouldn’t have an indefinite article

      As for band scores, the band score descriptors don’t distinguish between a band score 7 overview and an 8.
      Tony recently posted…Anki for IELTS – Watch me showing a student how to use Anki to learn some modal verbsMy Profile

      • Tatiana on 14th December 2016 at 7:56 pm

        HI Tony,
        Thank you very much for your valuable comments! I will work on my grammar !
        Kind regards,
        Tatiana

Leave a Comment





CommentLuv badge